Somehow I"m back peddling... I'm too stressed and too busy to care for the most part. Gained weight.... getting yelled at by people who have no clue... yeah.. fun. I'm going to bed, I don't care if I ate too much today. ><

Weight 303.1
Biked 3 miles

SOPA and Stuff

Gotta admit... today made me smile. Even I had no clue how strongly the internet could unite. I mean... so many anonymous people, corporations, companies just... everyone that united. So COOL! I really can't even describe the warm fuzzies it gives me. ^.^ eeeeeee

Went to CORE yesterday for the BL work out. Yeah... not so much. I didn't feel good afterwards. I mean, I didn't feel motivated, like I"d accomplished anything or anything like that. I literally sat in the car and cried. That can't be good for me.

Also... two glasses of wine... bad idea. I haven't been that physically depressed in a LONG time... it was ugly, real ugly, which didn't help the Core thing yesterday either. I might try a single glass later. My reasoning is this: It fulfills my cravings for pop, without the corn syrup. And it doesn't hurt that it helps me sleep. So... yeah... It's worth another shot. Just one glass though.

It is cold tonight! Finally! I am seriously excited about this. Yeah I'm a Minnesota girl. ^^ Oh and by cold, I mean below zero Fahrenheit! The high tomorrow is like 1. I am soooo happy about that. This is the first honest winter weather we've had, and we are way over due. :( So I will relish this. All curled up and comfy in my blankets with my warm puppy ^^

official BL weight for the week 297.3 o.o
biked 2.75 miles

Rose....

Wine tonight... two glasses...

Not a good night. I was ok, but the meeting tonight just did me in. I asked Dad how he turns it off... he was blunt: Alcohol. I thank him for being blunt, I just wish I had been able to get more useful advice. To hell with it. Two glasses of some rose wine or something like that and hopefully I'll be able to cry myself to sleep. Right now I can't even cry...

At least the wine tastes good.

Pop: 1 can :(
Stess level: Very High
Mood... :c
Biked 2.5 miles

The Documentary Phase

It seems like once a year I take a break from everything else and catch up on all the major documentaries that have come out in the last year. And it's that time again. The most intriguing thing to me isn't what I learn, it's that I get so much accomplished while watching these things, even if I've watched them before... Yeah, I don't get that. Ah well... I skipped most of "Nature" last year so I have a few extra of those. ^^

I've sorted through a ton of beads these last two days, and even made some earrings tonight. Not quite what I had intended, but I did give the dog a bath and myself a shower, did some biking and went shopping. I'll call that a successful day.

I also had a pleasant surprise. On a whim I weighed myself before my shower (the same time of day I weigh in on Thursdays) and I was at 299.4! I double checked, since on Thursday the scale had said 306. But it came up the same twice! So either I was wrong on Thursday or I somehow lost almost 7 pounds in 3 days! Which, given that I"m not really trying that hard, mostly just trying to slightly alter my diet and bike at least some distance everyday... That shouldn't do that, should it?

Ah well. I am where I am and I'm cool with that.

Pop: One -.- (Went out to eat at Appleblech and it tasted just wrong)
Biked: 2.5 miles

Now to work on that fb addiction >.>

Can't stop...

I can't stop my brain today >< It just keeps moving.

I got a lot accomplished, but I should have been in bed an hour or two ago.

Oh and things are in short bursts of coherency... can you tell? :p

Still a lot to do, nowhere near done with everything.

Mood @.@ but good
no pop today!
Biked 2.25 miles or something like that
stress level: high, but manageable.

I HATE coyotes!

Seriously, their howls and calls make my skin crawl.And it doesn't help when our big bad outside dog cowers by me when they start howling either :c

They were howling when I came back to my house tonight. So I'm outside, cold, wet, with a tiny white dog and a smaller lab mix jumping around me looking at me like "I'm not going near those guys, no way!" Yeah, I think the chills are allowed, and it wasn't just the cold and the wet hair. I know they were a ways away, but they still give me the heebeejeebees.

On the plus side I had more of my Thai Chicken Noodle Soup. Oh my is it good! I haven't cooked with coconut milk before this, but I'm not going to hesitate after this. There's not even much in the soup, but it is soooo good. The broth is just so comforting. And the rice noodles are just enough to give it sustenance. And the chicken just makes it delicious! I will definitely be making this again. The down side is I only have one bowl left, the plus side... Dad doesn't like it! So I'm all good.

Stress level: High
Pop: 2 cans :c
Biked 1.75 miles

So Tired....

I am so exhausted. I'm still sick, just a sore throat, but it's a sore throat. My ankle is still sore. I have way to much to do and all I want to do is sleep. I barely made it through yesterday. I was on the verge of tears all last night during WOW. I'm pretty much there now too. I just can't beat this thing. :c

I biked today 2.25 miles, cause I got caught up reading :p not a bad thing.

Weighed in today at 306 on the nose. wrong direction. :c but I really haven't done much, and hell, I've been eating more sweets then usual ironically. I can't wait til I feel better, and I'm not so stressed. :c

Pain without Love

Well, haven't had the love thing in a long while, but I've been listening to Three Day's Grace.... But Pain... yeah that's not going away.

My ankle keeps hurting, The pain has shifted from the inside to the outside of the ankle, and occasionally more forward, but yikes, it's sore. Thank God for Ibprofin! Though I should probably not be taking as much as I do.... Hopefully I"ll feel better soon. The throat is still sore too, not as bad, but still a bit tender. So that's a plus.

Slept all day yesterday in an effort to get better, don't know how that worked, but I managed to work at the day care, go to Hutch, work at church, teach WOW, work some more and then come home... that was too long of a day by the way @.@

Mom and I weighed in for the Biggest Loser Challange at Core Fitness today. I'm hoping this goes well and gets me some of the motivation I need. My goal (for myself really, since no one asked) is 270. That's the lowest I was when I was in Mankato as far as I can remember. That's for 12 weeks. Beyond that... really I just want to be able to buy clothes in regular stores, like Shopko and Walmart. :c How sad is that? I am so overweight that I can't buy clothes at Walmart! Although I attribute most of that to my taste. I am rather picky about what clothes I wear and how they wear on me. Anyway, for the record I believe my official weigh in weight was 305.4 or something like that. I got a long road ahead of me. Hopefully my ankle will heal and help me along the way.

Biked today! 1.5 miles, more to loosen my ankle then anything.

Still need to set up a sticker/star chart.

Owie....

Wow, I hadn't realized I missed so many days :c Ah well... I've been a little busy...

I spent Thursday night balancing books, both for church and daycare. Friday I worked at the day care and then Mom and I ran to Mankato. We wanted to pick up some stuff for church Christmas next year. Saturday... I started getting sick. Dad had stayed home from work on Friday, which means he was feeling pretty puny. My throat started to go to ick Saturday morning, but I went to work and then went... shhh don't tell anyone... a party! Yeah.. Me! I did that! I can't tell you how many times I nearly turned around, but I went, and I'm glad that I did. Not that it was a crazy wild party or anything. I mostly played cards... which really... is my thing. I was comfy. Sure there was beer, I didn't drink it, but it was around. Snacks too... I didn't have any of those either. But yeah, that was good. Sunday I spent in bed, trying to get over my cold. Seriously I don't think I was up a total of 6 hours all day... I was fine with that.

Today... Monday... wow. My neck still hurts, but it's fine with a handfull of Ibprofin. My voice is a little sore, but it's alright. The daycare kids didn't seem to mind that I couldn't talk normally :p The nicest thing... yeah I twisted my ankle... the worst I have in YEARS! I keep trying to put it up, and honestly that makes it hurt worse. More Ibprofin....

I have way too much to do to get sick, but I will do what I have to! Life is what it is and there's not much I can do about that.

I think Mom and I are starting a 'Biggest Loser' Challenge in Hutch on Wednesday. We'll see how that goes. I"m of mixed feelings to be honest. I like the fact that I will have something to do, but at the same time, Mom being there is kinda weird.. that and I hate the whole "Biggest Loser" thing. I was ok with it at first, but the show has just gotten stupid. The most motivation I've gotten out of most of the last few season's is the destructive urge to deck people, usually specific people, but still. Someday I /will/ take a martial art... and hopefully be able to control those urges better. I just don't have the nerve right now... :(

All being said... life is life and I'm tired of it, but I will keep plodding on. There is nothing else I can do.

Biked: (today only, finally found time and forced myself even with the sore ankle) 1.25 miles

And it begins?

Wow, yesterday was not good. Got a phone call an hour and a half before my alarm was supposed to go off asking me to come in to work asap. Was there by 9 to send the other gal home to be with her family. I ran in crisis mood (lack of sleep, but still fully functional) all day. Two of three WOW teachers called in sick. Ended up teaching all three elementary classes together... it went surprisingly well!

Today, I've been working on books for the church and the daycare... I don't even know where to begin... lack of communication through out the year has made both a disaster! I think Church is straight now. Just daycare to deal with.

I've been too stressed to have a good day or bad day. Though I have talked about drinking a few times, so that's my stress level. Eek.

Weighed in today: 305.6 :(

Biked: 1.75 miles

Here's to therapy shopping tomorrow!

Ranma has been found!

I'm starting on the Ranma 1/2 journey again. Meaning two things: 1) I'm watching a lot of Ranma 1/2 and 2) I'm looking for my lost discs... I really need to sort that out. Especially since the ones I'm missing are, of course, my favorite.

You know, a recumbent bike is nice. It doesn't hurt in the seat.. yay! And hopefully won't have any lasting ill effects. But one thing I don't like... my stomach is still so big that I keep juggling my gut on my knees >< It's not too bad, except I can always tell the last thing I ate when I'm done. Not that I'm doing all that much yet.

I really need to keep cleaning my house... and do all kinds of things, I just... I don't care... *sighs*

Mood: passable

Biked: 1.25 miles

A New Year a New Post...

Yeah, I really don't give a rat's backside what time of the so-called year it is. I have the pressure and motivation to start something new, so I will.

Life sucks at the moment. Nothing New.

The weather... the weather is scaring me. I have this strange foreboding that we are in for another Dust Bowl. And the wind, which only seems to take days off and not actually stop, sends chills through me. And it has nothing to do with the temperature. That's the other half of the weather... the temperature is all wrong. It's far too warm. We haven't had any real cold yet. I finally have a new coat, and no cold weather. It's too warm to wear a full length wool coat. :c

I am exceedingly sad and depressed tonight. I"m not sure if it's anything besides the re-grip I"m trying to put on my favorite pliers... I don't think it's working either T.T Which means I won't have a decent pliers for a while.. *Sigh* I will at some point, I"m just not sure when...

Biked 1 mile today